Karen and KK Ridings have the kind of mom-daughter relationship many parents aspire to but often struggle to achieve.
So when KK came out as lesbian, it wasn’t a test for Karen, but something she was prepared for.
In fact, KK’s identity was a “slow realisation” that took hold after she started university in 2021. “It wasn’t like I woke up one day and felt different,” she recalls.
Karen, a New York City native who had moved to a Sussex village in the UK, the news was far from shocking.
“It wasn’t a surprise,” Karen tells us.
When KK was about 16, Karen made sure to address the possibility directly: “I came straight out, being the direct person that I am. It was important for me to say ‘if you are, it’s great and it’s fine and just always know that.’ I think I kind of always had a little inkling that I wouldn’t have to surprise me.”
Karen’s early life in New York City gave her a healthy perspective. She used to hang out in Greenwich Village, where she “very much had friends in the gay community” saying “it was just our lives”.
Moving to a Sussex village changed that social landscape, as she was “living mom life”, but not her attitudes.
The Power of Queer Community and Chosen Family
KK’s engagement with the wider community began in Brighton, a famously LGBTQIA+ inclusive city on the south coast of England.
“For any event in Brighton, there’s also a queer version. And that opened up the wider community to me,” she explains.
KK embraces the sense of belonging, “friendships and knowing more people,” she finds in queer spaces, and notes, “If I’m gonna go clubbing, lesbian club nights are more fun because it’s more fun, it’s definitely accepting, it’s safe.”
She adds: “If you grow up in a village, there are people who might feel ‘I don’t like boys but I don’t know who I like’ because they’re not really exposed to a wider range of people. So it’s nice to have people around you who are like you and you are connected by being part of the community and you have that space.”
KK believes being around a big range of people “shows you more ways to be yourself”.
She says: “You do discover more about yourself. You going to spaces where you’re seeing people who look like you, dress like you, feel the same as you and I think that prompts people to feel more themselves and in a space where they’re not feeling judged.
“In other spaces, you can be so confident but you have that thing of ‘I wonder if people are accepting or not’. You can feel a nervousness before you say ‘my girlfriend, my wife, my partner.’ So it’s about the ability to a bit more open.”
Karen has seen this positive change in her daughter. “I noticed for KK, she found her core group, her friends. It’s been really nice to see her really comfortable in her own skin and place.
Reflecting on her own life, Karen understands the importance of these bonds, especially after moving to a different country. “Not having my mom around was really difficult. I guess your friends are your family you get to choose.”
Pride: Protest and Celebration
Pride is a significant event for both mother and daughter.
Karen says: “It’s very much important for us to be part of her life as well. It was very important to me to go to Pride with her and celebrate that and get to know her friends more. And my husband as well, he’s got a Proud Dad t-shirt.”
Although Karen also jokes that when they attend, KK “hangs out with me for a couple hours and then she goes and hangs out with her friends”.
For KK, Brighton Pride, one of the UK’s largest, is a fixed point in her year.
“I always made sure to make it a thing,” she says. “It’s a fun weekend but it’s not just a celebration. It is a protest with a lot of messages in it and I do think it’s important to attend. My friends are gonna be there and it’s a chance to hang out and celebrate but also make sure the messages are going out.”
The Ongoing Reality of Coming Out
KK shares the idea behind the Live Pride Wide Open campaign – that it’s best to live your life in a way that is open about yourself and open to others.
She says: “I agree. It’s definitely freeing and like it feels like a bit of like a weight’s been lifted off, You still feel like you still live it every day in different situations. We’re in the world when things are still assumed, or like, you have to correct someone.
“The other day I was walking to the bus and some guy called out ‘Hi darling.’ And I didn’t turn around, I had headphones in. Then the guy was like ‘Oh no, that’s a bloke.’ I just turned around and said ‘what are you talking about’?”
But despite issues like this, Karen remains grateful that her daughter is in a relatively safe environment and contrasts this to the even more polarised climate in the US.
“I’m so grateful that I have daughters in this country,” she says, saying the reversal of Roe versus Wade was a “real wake-up” for her. “It feels scary. I’m really grateful we’re not there, we’re here. So it’s important that we do support our daughters and support everyone. Because that could be next.”
Live Pride Wide Open
You can see the Live Pride Wide Open campaign throughout June 2026 on JCDecaux outdoor screens around the UK and at Outernet in Tottenham Court Road, London. Read the stories behind the images on our Pride Wide Open page. And if you can, please make a donation so we can keep tackling hatred and promoting a world where all LGBTQIA+ people can thrive.
